Wow I come up with this post because I couldn’t afford not to 🙂 . Of course I define myself as an introvert otherwise there would be no reason for this subject resonating so much in my mind. I also want to let you know that I’m not a native english speaker nor I live in an english country but I wanted to write this article in english as the one I have been inspired by is actually in english so bare with my mistakes 🙂
The original article was written by Carl King from the blog CarlKingdom and I had to give my 2 cents about the subject (as I can totally relate to everything he said). So here I will just resume what he said and share my experience about it.
First of all, here is the definition of an introvert:
Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to « recharge. » 🙂 So, that been clarified, let’s jump into it 🙂
Myth #1: Introverts don’t like to talk
Carl’s thought: This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
My experience: he pointed it so well, we hate small talk! I hate small talk. This just remind me my studies years. You know in a classroom, you always have those people who want to show off and can’t stop talking about their life or about other people or the weather or what Kim Kardashian did to Kanye…I Hate that! . People please just don’t talk if you have nothing interesting to say, it’s totally okay to keep your mouth closed. Another example: people you barely know trying to start a conversation…with a small talk, I hate that! Please stop, just stop. I guess not only introverts might be bored by this kind of people but as an introvert it pisses me off even more.
Myth #2: Introverts are shy
Carl’s thought: Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting.
My experience: This is where lot of people get things twisted. Introversion NOT EQUALS shyness! Geezzzzz thank you Carl for this enlightment! Shyness is the feeling of apprehension, anxiety, nervousness, sometimes low self-esteem and while an introvert may also be shy (just like an extrovert by the way according to the definition), introversion itself IS NOT shyness.
I don’t interact for THE SAKE OF INTERACTING and people who know me know that part of me as well. This misconception goes back to the first one about introverts not liking to talk. Oh no people, we just need a reason to talk, I need a reason to spend MY TIME interacting/chilling with people cause guess what? Your Time is the BEST ASSET you will ever have in this world so be careful of who you spend it with and what you spend it for ! .
Myth #3: Introverts are rude.
Carl’s thought: Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
My experience: social pleasantries? It sounds like small talk to me and you already know how I feel about it right?. Realness and honesty, let’s discuss a bit about this: today we live in a world where people because they want to fit in I don’t know what or because of any other reason, have mastered the art of pretense (even extroverts can’t contradict this one) and you know what? For an introvert like me, this is just nauseating!
Myth #4: Introverts don’t like people
Carl’s thought: on the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
My experience: PREACH Carl! I love people…I love MY people, they are few but I don’t need much.
As most “friends” would just disappear when the storm comes on, it is when introverts tend to make their coming out. Sometimes you might not hear a lot from them but they are still there and will not hesitate to give you their support when you need it. I love my people as I said; I care for my persons of substance 🙂 , I’m always the one sharing ideas, my discoveries, etc because if I find something that sounds good to me I want to share it with my closed circle, because I love them, so I care about them. That doesn’t mean I hate the rest of the world, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I don’t worry that much about the rest of the world BUT if someone needs my help, of course I will be devoted to help them but after that, I just want to go back to my world! And yes, if you win my trust (yes, if you do), you can be sure you got a loyal ally for life 🙂 .
Myth #5: Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Carl’s thought: Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
My experience: hun, let me think…Do I like to go out with my friends? Yes. Do I like to go out every single day even with my friends? Not sure about that. Do I like to spend the whole day or the whole night out? Double NO! I don’t get those people who as soon as they are out, just want to stay away from their home as long as possible… I personally WANT TO GO BACK HOME and AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, I LOVE MY PLACE ! It might sound boring for some, but for me what is actually boring and nerve-racking is being out everyday all day all night.
Myth #6: Introverts always want to be alone
Carl’s thought: Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
My experience: Yes! I need my loneliness for sure but I don’t always want to be alone. Who wants that by the way? The difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that you will sometimes see extroverts with many friends for different occasions (friends for clubbing, friends for going to see a movie, friends for going to church, whatever) while introverts just want this one friend who can fit in every occasion and this is totally me!
Myth #7: Introverts are weird
Carl’s thought: Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
My experience: most of the time, I’m not even aware of what is popular or trendy so 🙂 . And this point is really relevant cause in my post Back to basics, I actually talked about how I almost “lost” myself in that trendy movement of wanting and wearing multiple jewelry accessories (multiple rings on fingers, etc)…I hate that, LOL! I like to do me! I don’t have any problem with trend as soon as it’s aligned with my deep inner. I always have to put my own thought into anything, no matter how amazing it might sound because at the end of the day, it’s your life, your uniqueness and you have to make sure that whatever you take in fits your reality! What I mean is I always try to understand things first and to involve my auto-criticism into instead of just blind-applying/adopting them.
Myth #8: Introverts are aloof nerds.
Carl’s thought: Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them; it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
My experience: yes, my inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding than the outside! I love to chill with myself because I can always feel the good vibes coming out, always!
Myth #9: Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Carl’s thought: Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
My experience: It makes so much sense! I like to be around people (if there is a reason 🙂 ) but not that often and not just for the sake of being with people (here I speak about people not my friends) cause it can be exhausting and energy draining. On the other hand being at home, or alone or far from all kind of heavy noise is always relaxing: that’s how we get the Fun part!
Myth #10: Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Carl’s thought: A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race.
My experience: I can totally relate to this because the time I spend with myself is the time I spend learning new things, acquiring new skills, investigating on subjects that I’m passionate about, sharing my knowledge with people, learning about people that inspire me, improving myself (cause I have time for myself) and guess what? THIS IS HAVING FUN TO ME! LOL. This also remind me my trip in London back in 2011 where while being there, I was taking English classes as well; not that I really needed them, but I had to do something valuable during this period of time and these classes actually created room for interaction!.
And by the way some great introverts of our time are: Albert Einstein, Warren Buffet, Frederic Chopin, Charles Darwin, Mahatma Gandhi, Al gore, Isaac Newton, Larry Page (co-founder of Google), Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, J.K. Rowling (Author of the Harry Potter Saga), Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, and more (I might be the next on the list, watch out, hahaha).
This topic was not meant to start a fight between introverts and extroverts, but just to remind the society that the world, to evolve, needs the both types of personality; just like the Ying needs its Yang and vice-versa, so Dear extroverts, here is the chance for you to really own your extroversion, which means opening your mind and stop acting like introverts had something to fix. Introverts CANNOT fix themselves because they are NOT BROKEN. They are not unfinished products of extroverts. They just have a different way to enjoy life and that doesn’t make them less happy, they are in fact truly and deeply happy with their life; their way of thinking (the fact that they are deeply connected with themselves) even keep them away from a lot of trouble cause most of the time they are very intuitive!
Cheers to all my introvert people 🙂